It's officially, official!!

According to the Texas Board of Nursing.....I am a registered nurse!

I took my exam on Tuesday and found out the results this morning!!

To say I am relieved and happy would be an understatement!

So thankful it's over! :)

And so ends another chapter.

And so ends another chapter.

Today, I will graduate cum laude with my bachelor of science in nursing from Texas Woman's University. I finished my last final this past Monday. I had my pinning ceremony last night. And today, I officially graduate.

All week long I have been trying to put into words how I feel....elated? excited? relieved? sad? ecstatic? And I just can't seem to do it.

Am I happy? Sure. So glad to be done? You bet. But it's like it still hasn't all sunk in yet.

I'm done. No more courses. No more clinical. No more weekends where I have to pawn the kid off on Geoff to sneak in some much needed, but dreaded, study time. No more papers. Done. There's not a break and I have to return after a few weeks. It's over.

It is such a relief, yet it has been such a huge part of my life for the past 2 years that I feel kind of lost (in a very loose sense of the word). Granted- I know that in about...oh...umm....5 seconds I will have no problem 'figuring out' what it is that I need to do next (i.e. finish begin the nursery, do more activities with Parker, actually cook dinner, do the crafty projects that I have been 'meaning' to do for the past few months, spend more time with my husband, etc).....but for now, I am just going to try to process all of this. All of this hard work. Something that I can honestly say..... is the hardest thing I've ever done. And that's saying a lot. And it all means that much more to me because of it.

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As I stated earlier...we had our pinning ceremony last night. I had to get dressed up...

It was a nice, personal ceremony where we were able to go up on stage, be pinned by a person of our choice,

and one of our instructors read out our personal note of thank you. I decided to include it here one the blog mostly for memories sake, but also to thank all of you that have somewhat been on this journey right along with me (us)....from watching Parker....to listening to me rant and rave about how hard it was....and how I wanted to quit! So here it is....my little thank you....

"I would like to thank God for giving me the strength and courage to survive nursing school. I would like to thank my family and friends who have supported me through this long journey. To my daughter—thank you for being the blessing that you are and making me smile each day. To my husband—thank you for your unwavering support of me. Thank you for putting up with me when I was difficult (which was very often). Thank you for being such a great father. Thank you for keeping the house clean so that it would be one less thing for me to worry about. Thank you for turning your life upside down to make this possible. Thank you for being you."

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And here are a few of my dear friends from school...we went through this together every step of the way....laughed and cried together...ranted and raved together. Survived this little thing called nursing school.

And with all of that being said....I can officially say I am no longer in nursing school, but rather....a graduate nurse. I plan to take the NCLEX-RN examination (for my license) within the next month to hopefully pass and officially become a registered nurse!!


And so begins another chapter.....

Me, in my scrubs.

So here it is. A picture of me in my scrubs. This is something that I had been 'planning' on doing since I first started nursing school 2 years ago.......to simply take a picture of me in my scrubs. For memory's sake. But like many things....I just never got around to doing it.

But yesterday (Monday) was my last. official. day. to. ever. wear. these. scrubs. Did you hear me?? I never have to wear these scrubs again!!!! I finished my clinicals last week (as you already know), but I had to wear them on Monday because we took our class picture....the one that will be blown up and displayed in the hallways of the university along with all of the other graduating class photos for over the past 30 years. It was exciting....in a calm sort of way. Just another marker/milestone in reaching the ultimate goal of graduation!!! (which is only 25 days away, in case you are wondering)

So in honor of my last. day. ever. I got Geoff to take a good-ole-fashioned-stand-in-front-of-your-fireplace-picture like we did growing up on our first day of school. You know....the ones that are so staged and you don't look your best because you kind of look awkward standing there alone....and smiling? Yep...just like the one you see above! :)

(and it would have been nice to maybe have taken this picture before I was 7 months pregnant and just barely fitting into my top because I refused to buy a bigger size for just a few short weeks)

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I included the pictures below because it is one of Parker's many meltdowns recently caught on camera. The story goes like this:

• Geoff was trying to take my picture.
  
• Parker wanted to hold/play with the camera.
  
• Geoff (of course) said no. Parker's feelings were so hurt.
  
• She melted.
  
• Mommy saved the day. Haha. ;)

Bless her heart.

We turned on Nemo and all was right with the world again.

i survived...

....my first two 12-hour shifts at the hospital.

Yes- I worked a 12-hour shift yesterday and today.

Wasn't sure if I was going to make it when thinking about these days earlier in the week. But they came and went and I survived.

I know that to some this is no big deal. They do it all the time. It is a way of life. And will eventually become my way of life. But for now it is new.

It is getting up at 5:00am.
Leaving the house at 5:45am.
And returning home at 8pm.
Seeing my daughter for only 30 minutes in a day.
Hearing her say in her sweet, little voice, "I miss you, Mommy! I miss you, Mommy!" And melting and breaking your heart all at once.
It is going to bed at 10pm, only to wake at 5am to start it all over again.
It's culture shock, I tell you.

I thought I'd include some fun(ny) tips for survival of working a 12 hour shift when you're new: (in case you're wondering)

• expect the very, very worst.....then when it happens...it doesn't seem so bad. :)
  
• wash your hands with soap and water 121 times per day
• Stay well-hydrated. This way.....you won't start feeling dizzy, nauseous, start seeing black spots....only to barely exit the room in time to fall into a chair....only to have your nurse preceptor run out the door after you and take your blood pressure to discover that it is 92/55 and make you sit in that chair in the hallway with the blood pressure cuff hooked up to your arm while making you drink juice and water....oh....and so then your instructor will not show up right after that and freak out that you almost passed out. :)
• Yes- the above statement is a true story. And it happened on my first day.
• and most importantly....use hand sanitzer gel 347 times per day. thanks.
  

I did finally successfully start an IV today!!! And I got it on my first try!! A huge accomplishment for me. (It only took me a year to figure it out.)

I have to do 120 clinical hours in the hospital this semester. Soooo....24 hours down....and ummm.....96 to go! Haha.

I will tell you this though.....getting into my soft, cozy bed never felt so good. I could feel my legs saying "ahhhhhhhhh." You know what I mean??

I think I'm in the wrong business.

I'm not even going to attempt to add up the amount of money that I have spent on textbooks over the past 2 years as a nursing student.

Nope.

I'm not going to fathom the idea that the amount of money I spent on these books could possibly pay for a whole semester of classes. A down payment on a car. A vacation. A....well....a lot of things!!

I especially love the books that I am required to purchase....yet a year and a half later...it is still in the shrink wrap. That's my favorite.

But I'm not going to saying anything else.

No. I'm simply going to say that maybe I'm heading into the wrong business, after all.

...now... where did I put that???

The picture above is a fairly good description of what it looks like in my head right now.

Let me explain...(or...try to...that is)

I just love it when I am putting something away...something important...and I think to myself..."I am just going to put this right here so that I will for sure remember it."

I have come to the conclusion that when I say that to myself...it is really just my brain's secret code for... "Forget you ever saw this item and move on with your life."

And my brain is pretty effective that way.

My girlfriend's from college Jamie, Emily, and Kelley made me this photo montage of our college years and gave it to me right before I got married. It's one of the best gifts I've ever received.

Anyway-...I put that video in a special place so that I would not forget. I searched high and low many a time for that thing...and I luckily re-found it when we were moving.

It was in the top drawer of one of our end tables. A drawer we opened frequently for the remotes...but never opened enough to see the DVD. Oh well.

It happened again tonight with my CPR card. I have to bring it every single semester and give a copy of it to every single clinical instructor and sometimes a secretary here and there. Not that big of a deal...I know the drill. And when we were packing at our old house...I specifically remember knowing that I would need it the first week of school so as to not pack it deep within a box for I knew that would be difficult to find.

Then...you know me...tonight...the night before I need it...Geoff and I looked for about an hour for that card. He remembered seeing it somewhere...I remembered being so careful not to pack it and to put it in its special place.

But the last time I truly remembered seeing it was in the top right-hand drawer of our desk. So...with a child-like hope that it would 'magically' appear in that top right-handed drawer of our desk where it was before we moved...I opened it. And to my surprise (and relief)...it was there!!!! I guess we had not done anything special with it after all...and had just left it in that drawer. I don't think that was my original plan for the infamous CPR card...but all is well and that's all that matters.

My brain is in a sort of mushy state right now. It happens a couple of times a year.

However- I feel as though I am dealing with it better this time than I ever have. I think it's because I am getting used to it. I just roll with the punches. The not being able to finish a sentence because I forget my complete thought before I even utter the first word???....yeh...that can be annoying. But what are you going to do?

This always happens when I'm pretty stressed out and have a lot going on. It will pass (or at least...that is what I am hoping for :). It just usually doesn't happen until after the first week of school....

So tomorrow I am starting what is supposed to be my 4th and final semester in nursing school. It feels so good to say that. And while I am not looking forward to the clinicals and hours of studying and writing papers....I am looking forward to the end. Remind me of that if I start to forget this positive outlook by Wednesday. Ok? :)

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And in conclusion...because I am already in procrastination mode...here's a funny thing that Parker said yesterday...

I've written before how when Parker changes her baby's diaper she says, "ooh-eee...dat steeks!" and waves her hand back and forth.

But yesterday...when she was changing her baby's diaper...I asked her if it was stinky (don't really know why I did, but I did)

...and she said, "No....is jus wet......it's rainin'!"

(and just to clarify...it wasn't raining...she was just making the comparison that her baby's diaper was wet just like it is when it's raining)

Entering the home stretch...

This semester is almost over!! I finished up with my last class this past week. Now this coming week will be filled with 1 presentation in my pediatric class....a poster presentation for my adult health class....attending a support group meeting for my mental health class...finishing up any ole paperwork that might have slipped my mind earlier in the semester....and somewhere in there- try to find time to study for my finals...which start on Saturday. Whew! That was a mouthful!

I have, literally, been in Spring Break mode since the week before Spring Break. And trust me...it's not a good mode to be in! haha

Anyway- tonight I was calculating the average of my test grades that I've made so far this semester and then figuring out what I need to make in the final to get the grade I want. I discovered that in 2 of my classes...I need to make at least a 92 on the final to get an A in the class. Which is doable. However- if I make a 90...it's all over...and I get a B. And then in my third class...I would need to make a 100 on the final (not possible) to get an A. So my goal there is to just maintain the B. I guess I'll take it (not that I have a choice).

I pitter patter along throughout the semester declaring that "I don't even care what grade I make...I just need to pass!" Mind you- I declare these statements the day before the test because I am so overwhelmed and am wishing that I could turn back the hands of time just a teeny tiny bit and I would have started studying a little sooner. Then- I read the first question of the test and think, "Doh! Why didn't I just study more?!"

It is what it is.

It's a vicous cycle. Really. And if my calculations are correct (and I believe that they are)...I have been taking some sort of college class almost consistantly since 1998...

1998-2003 Baylor: degree in psychology
2003-2004: I did no school...just work
2004-2005: Region 10 alternative certification program for my teaching certificate.
2005-2006: Texas A&M- Commerce; I took 12 hours towards my masters in special education when I up and decided...."I think I want to be a nurse!" ???
2006-Present (minus the year I took off when I found out I was expecting and had Parker) : Nursing School

And I am happy to report....that this Fall (God willing)...is my 4th and final semester of nursing school. (did you hear that dramatic music playing in the background as you read that last sentence...the dramatic music that I heard as I typed that last sentence?)

And breath.

And good night.

A little bit of perspective...

I am so exhausted so this is going to be short and sweet. Today, at my pediatric clinical, I was able to observe in the NICU for a couple of hours. I am not totally for sure that this is the type of nursing that I want to do, but it is definitely under consideration. Anyway- I was able to observe a nurse taking care of a baby that was born at 26 weeks gestation (just a little FYI for those of you who do not know-- 37 weeks is considered term and 40 weeks is what they go by to calculate due date). He was almost 3 pounds. Below is a picture of a diaper that he uses....and yes- that is my school ID next to it (which is the exact same size as my driver's license, but I did not want to post that for obvious reasons :). And also- this diaper was still too big and had to be folded down about 3/4 of an inch. Anyway- the whole reason for me posting this is a) it is something I am interested in and wanted to share, and b) I know that we have all heard of tiny 1-2 pound babies and such, but this baby was almost 3 pounds, and he is honestly the smallest baby I have ever seen in person. I was truly amazed.

And then here is this little Pamper next to Parker's size 4 Pamper....I wish I had a regular newborn diaper to compare it to, but I am fresh out! :)

Our morning at school together...

This past Thursday, Parker was able to go to with me to my pediatric nursing class. The instructors designed the day so that we could bring our kids/grandkids/nieces/nephews to class with us where we would let them play with toys and do various activities. While they were doing those things, we were to be assessing (always assess in nursing school) how they were playing, interacting, etc. I was so excited to bring her with me. And to top it all of, she was such a good girl. I was so proud of her. Here are a few photos and captions of our morning...

I was initially a little nervous about waking her up on this morning because she went to bed a little later than normal and I was going to be waking her up an hour earlier than normal and then putting her in the car for about an hour... driving to class in downtown Dallas traffic. Fun, fun! But, to my surprise, she actually woke up on her own this particular morning at the time I needed her to so she was actually in a pretty good mood. Here she is standing in the kitchen all dressed and pressed with her lovey and blankie in hand waiting on Momma to get her stuff together...

Cheese!!!

"Ok...enough already..."

I just couldn't help myself...I kept wanting to take pictures of her because she was being so sweet and I was just so excited that she was going with Mommy to "work"....

I think she figured it was going to be a while so after she plopped down like she did below, I took this one last picture and we were on our way....

Here she is while we were sitting (literally 0 mph) on the freeway...with her toboggin, lovey, blankie, and milk in tow....(please excuse the blurriness)...

So we arrived at school about an hour and 15 minutes later. When we got to the classroom, she was initially pretty shy...laying her head down on my shoulder and not really talking or interacting. After about 30 minutes or so, I decided that she probably needed to walk around a bit. We made it into a different room, where this girl pictured below (whom I do not know her name, but know her because we are in all of the same classes) squatted down, held out her arms and said "Parker! Come here!" And that was all it took. Parker went straight into her arms, then sat in her lap and made a craft. She only looked back at me a few times...

Here she is with her craft...

And I'm just throwing this one in there of us because I am trying to get better about taking pictures of us with her. One day we'll appreciate them....

Just barely squeaked by...

Well- my semester is over!!!!! Less than a year left (hopefully) and I will be completely done!! That will be such an awesome feeling! Anyway- I just barely squeaked by on these last 2 finals. I had calculated the lowest possible grade that I needed to get the desired grade (an A in one class and a B in the other)...and guess what...I got the lowest grade possible on both and got the grades that I wanted!! So usually I do not like things to be this close...I mean, if I had missed one more question on each exam I would be sitting here saying that, "I missed the grade I wanted by ONE question"....but this is how it happened and I will take it! I was oh so close to that C...I did NOT want that....so I am thrilled with the 3 A's and 2 B's for the overall 16 hours I took...leaving me with a 3.56 for the semester. Hey....I think that's still good enough for the Dean's list at least....

Well...I'm throwing in the scrubs...

..not for good...but at least until January!!! I had my last clinical today and although I learned a lot....I am glad they are ALL over! What a relief!! The semester is winding down. After this week, I have next week off for Thanksgiving...then I'll only have a week and half left until my FIVE week vacation begins!! Doesn't that sound splendid?! I am very happy for the end of the semester, but I can't lose focus...still lots to do, and so very little time to do it!

2 days down...2 more to go...

...of my first week back at school!!! They have been long days, with not much time to spend with Parker. Both Monday and Tuesday I left so early that I did not see her until I came home, and yesterday that wasn't until 4:45pm...I told Geoff that I really missed her yesterday...different than I have ever felt before when leaving her....I teared up a few times, but made it through the day. This is all stuff I am not used to. But the good thing is....if I can just get through these first 3 weeks, things will really settle down. I mean- I will still be busy, but my time on campus and in clinical will be decreased. They just have to pack so much into the first few weeks to review skills and hospital orientations and all of that fun stuff.

Parker seems to be doing great. Yesterday was her first day with Miss Alissa and she reported that she "couldn't have asked for a better first day." So after a long day, hearing that made my day. Parker talked and giggled in her carseat the whole way home, and then, was in the best mood for our evening at home. It was some really good, fun, quality family time. I couldn't ask for more.

So that's all for now...just had a little break before my first class starts this morning. Hope you all are doing well!

T-minus 9 hours, 31 minutes and counting...

That's how long I have until I have to leave the house to begin my second (out of 4 total) semester of nursing school (that's 6:30am in case you are wondering). The past 2 weeks I have really been trying to wrap things up here at home...(i.e. my scrapbooking of Parker's first year, planning the birthday party, cleaning the house, etc) because I know for the next couple of weeks I will have plenty of other things to worry about and just trying to get into the swing of things. I am almost done with the scrapbook, and the house is decent....but nowhere near clean (although Geoff says I will never really think our house is clean no matter how clean it really is....this may be true:).

I have tremendously enjoyed being home this summer...a whole three and a half months! I feel that these last months of her first year were some of the best because this is when it seems like she has just learned so much. I had feared that I would miss her starting to crawl or having someone else tell me she took her first steps, but I was here and able to see them with my own two eyes! And although I hate the fact that I have to leave her at all, one thing that will help me get through the semester is knowing that Parker will be in good hands. My assistant principal from my first year of teaching is now able to stay at home with her 2 boys (a 3 year old, and 9 month old) and she has offered to help us out with childcare this semester. I know that she will take care of Parker as her own... and having that kind of peace of mind is priceless to me.

I am a little nervous about going back this semester. I am taking 16 hours (and I only took 12 last semester), but the schedule this semester seems to be a little more forgiving, in that, I will only be in class 3 days one week and then 2 days the next week (alternating). SO in theory- it sounds pretty do-able. The clincher is really finding the time outside of school to study. I just start making myself anxious thinking about how I will have time to get everything done, but I know that things will fall into place and it will work out.

So wish us luck as we embark on this new phase in our lives. On a positive note...one good thing about the semester starting is that in 3 and half months... it will be over... and I will be that much closer to finishing school and hopefully finding a job where I only have to work 2 or 3 days a week!!! There is a light at the end of the tunnel...

Introduction to Nursing Research...

Now...does that sound like a fun textbook to read from cover to cover??? Nope!! Here's the story...since I already have a degree, I was given the opportunity to take a content challenge exam for this course that I am enrolled to take in the fall entitled 'Independent Nursing Research.' The instructor told us that in order to prepare for the exam, we would need to read the textbook Introduction to Nursing Research. I tried, and I tried (ok- maybe I just tried a little) but I could not find the motivation to read this stuff. I would have rather spent time with Parker and Geoff or scrapbooking (which I am still SO behind on!)...or really anything other than that! And I had also just finished a Summer I course, so I was burnt out and really just wanted a break. So I showed up for the test yesterday with little hopes of making the 80% I needed to pass, but gave it a shot anyway...I had nothing to lose. And I am sure glad I did!!! I passed with an 84% and now do not have to do the coursework for this fall! Hooray!! I guess I'm glad I didn't read that book after all... (children...don't try this at home )

Class is over!!

Yesterday was my last day of class for my first semester in nursing school! Now I just have 3 finals to take next week, and will be done for good on Wednesday, May 7th! I'm counting down the days! Then, I will be home for 3 and half months (until August 25th) when I will begin my 2nd semester. Needless to say, I am immensely excited about being home with Parker! It has been hard being away from her, but the three of us have survived!