While I was a little sentimental sending Parker off to kindergarten this past week....like I mentioned before...she only goes 2 days a week....so I still spend most days of the week with her (which is a goody thing!). But there is/was a part of me looking forward to spending more time with Little Miss.
I feel like she tends to get the least amount of attention in the family for several reasons.
A) She's the most easygoing family member (other than Geoff) and so she doesn't get as much of the 'negative' attention as perhaps others. Ahem. And any attention at all is still attention. :)
B) She's right smack dab in the middle. Parker will get quite a bit of my attention on homeschool days, and while I'll have activities planned for Grace, Parker's work will take priority. Then Nolan definitely gets my attention as the 4 month old that depends on me for everything.
But it wasn't until after lunch last week while Parker was at school, and we were sitting down watching a movie and I had just finished feeding Nolan- that something really hit me. Grace was curled up on the couch next to me and I remembered that the day before- Parker had held Nolan and Grace wanted to, as well. But I put her off to keep Nolan from getting too upset from being juggled around. I told her she could hold him the next day.
Anyway- while sitting so cozy on the couch...watching the movie that she chose....I asked her if she wanted to hold Nolan. She was elated. Beyond thrilled. Grabbed the boppy up and put her arms in position. Her face was pure joy.
And deep, deep within...I was full of emotion. Sad that I get so frustrated with her because she is so in his face and pulls and prods and seems to never quite grasp my requests of her to STOP.
And it's because she loves him so much. I feel like I tend to marvel at how great a big sister Parker is...because she really is such a huge help. And Parker also loves him and is sort of in his face, but she will kind of listen to me and step back and his face lights up when he sees her. But with that- I neglect to recognize Grace's love for him, too.
Beaming. This was the longest session she's ever held him. Since Parker wasn't there....it was quieter....nobody was waiting and constantly asking when it was their turn or telling her what she should be doing. And he mostly laid their....just smiling and talking to her.
{couldn't decide between the picture above and the one below so I decided to post them both!}
I don't know what exactly it is....but I am tearing up just looking through these pictures. Her sweet little face.
But it was when I was up with Nolan for his 4am feeding later that night.... and after I put him back in bed....I laid there, mind still racing. And I kept coming back to the thought that "I miss her". That I am with her day in and day out....hug her, kiss her, talk with her...and yet I still miss her.
