nolan's birth story

I swore I wouldn't do it...but I did.  I waited almost 8 months before writing out his birth story.  I still haven't written Grace's!

So here it is.  

The story of Nolan's birth (or, at least, how I remember it).  :)

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 I didn't get much sleep the night before.  I didn't really expect to.  :)

I woke up for good around 3am...and just laid there for a little while.  About 3:30....I hopped up and started getting ready.  Since I had so much time....I decided to actually do my hair and put on make-up. 

I'm one of those people that likes to remember.  Everything.  {This can be a bad thing a lot of the time.}  And since this was one of those moments where I really wanted to take it all in because this will- more than likely- be the last time I'm pregnant....I took one last belly picture.

We got to the hospital right around 7am (when we were supposed to be there).  I got to fill out some fun paper work and pay the bill (some of the bill, that is).  They brought me back right after everything on the paperwork side was complete.  I got dressed up in the fancy gown...and waited for my nurse to come in.

We didn't wait long...and in walked the best nurse I've had out of all 3 deliveries, Laura.  Laura was my actual nurse, but another nurse also came in with her initially just to help me get settled in.... and it ended up being a girl I went to high school with (who I have also been in touch with here and there over the years since she went to the same nursing school as me, also).  They were such blessings!  I had specifically prayed for a good nurse this time around...and He answered my prayers.  A friend of mine (whose husband so happens to work with Geoff)....works at the hospital where I deliver, and she was so kind to help make sure I was taken care of and helped with the arrangement of Laura taking care of me.  Again....so so very thankful.

After I answered about 142 more questions....and got my IV....IV fluids and antibiotic started....the anesthesiologist eventually came in and put in my epidural.  The procedure went fairly well and didn't take too long.

At some point...I made a point to tell Laura that with Grace (my last c-section)...my blood pressure dropped during the procedure because I was laying on my back (obviously for the surgery, but it suppressed my inferior vena cava) and they ended up having to give me something to make it come back up.  I knew there wasn't anything she could do about it this time, but just wanted to let her know that had happened to me and that it could happen again.

A little while later, the nurse anesthetist came in (I don't remember his name).  He was also nice.  He started putting the numbing and pain medicine through the epidural.  He'd periodically do 'tests' to see if it was working.  He had a bag full of ice and would ask me if it felt cold or wet, etc.  I seemed to keep feeling it more than I thought (and I think more than he thought) I should and continued to give me more medicine.  I still could feel my feet, but he assured me that it was normal and ok that I was able to still move them.  I could also still feel the cold pack pretty well, too,

So I think it was around 9am that they started to wheel me back to the OR.  They left Geoff in the room  so he could change into the fancy/paper scrubs they had for him, and someone would go get him when they were ready.

Before they moved me onto the operating table....I told Laura one last time that I did not think that I was numb enough.  She assured me that they would do another test before they started.  This made me feel better.  (even as I type this I feel my heart racing a tad because I know what I'm about to write!)

So they moved me to the table...prepped me...and at some point....put up the little drape.  My doctor came in...made a little small talk.  The doctor assisting my doctor also came in and introduced herself.

Geoff came in at some point.  :)

So they started.  They didn't get far when I told Laura and the nurse anesthetist that I felt pain.  They asked where and I told them mostly on the right side (near where they were cutting, but more on the right side).  Laura told the doctors...and I remember my doctor acknowledging that he heard...and he told me they were going to take a break for a moment while the nurse anesthetist gave me a little more medicine.  During this time, my blood pressure dropped....so he gave me a dose of ephedrine....which, in turn, increased my blood pressure, but caused me to feel nauseous...so he gave me some zofran.  

I guess minutes later (hard for me to have any concept of time here)....they resumed cutting me open.  And they didn't get far...before I started breathing in a funny way...like couldn't catch my breath/sorta hyperventilating because I could still feel ev.er.y.thing they were doing and was in a tremendous amount of pain.

And the next thing I know.......I'm waking up....and meeting my son for the first time. (I think this was close to 9:50...about 30 minutes of life.)

Geoff was actually holding him for me to see the first time I saw him.  I was a little groggy....and the first thing I said, with eyes filled with tears....was "Are you sure he's ours?"

I'm not sure what it was....the drugs....his puffiness....but he did not look like the girls.  And even when the family came in and met him a few hours later, Kristin (my sister) thought the same thing.  But everyone agreed that he looked more like a Cotton than a Caldwell.

So.....what happend:
-They ended up giving me propofol.  This is a drug that knocked me out...and made me not be able to remember the pain.  Which I guess is a good thing.  I had also told the nurse anesthetist before the surgery what had happened when I had Grace...and he already told me {sort of}...the steps he'd take to help me out if that happened.  So I already knew there was something else he could give...and that this would be the last thing he could do before he'd have to intubate (which the only reason he'd have to intubate in this situation is if I had ended up needing even more sedation that would have just decreased my respiratory drive).
-My O2 sats dropped to 78% immediately after the first dose of propofol, but immediately went back up. (Laura told me all of this later.)
-Geoff said he had to help hold my arms down while I was out because I was still saying stuff about how I was in pain and then lifting my arms up like I wanted to reach for my abdomen.

Nolan was born at 9:21am.  I think he came out crying pretty good?  (Geoff wasn't really able to remember the details very well.)  Apgars were 9 and 9 (because his feet were still bluish).

Aww....my husband is so sweet to take this picture of me. {insert sarcasm}  It's awful, I know.  So I made it black and white, because I think it makes it better??  Ha!  But hey....it's a memory.  :)

Geoff was really good at taking pictures.  This doctor that is holding Nolan up was the one that was assisting my doctor.  She was holding him up over the drape??  So...I'm pretty sure she had no idea I was unconscious.  :)

He was so puffy!!  I guess an 8lb, 12oz baby will do that.

father & son

A little later, the nurse brought him to me and then let me hold him for the first time.

Another not-so-good pic....but this is REAL life.  I was a mess of emotion for several reasons.  

1) I was still a little loopy.  

2) My son had just been born.  

3)  I was still in pain.  Yes...they were no longer cutting me open.  But...I had just been cut open!!  And my epidural was still the same...not working.  

4)  I missed it all.

Once we got back to the room....I was in quite a bit of pain.  I gave it a 10 out of 10.  So the nurse anesthetist and my nurse helped roll me to my side and pulled my epidural catheter out a bit to see if maybe it was just in too far.  We were hoping this was the case...because they usually leave the epidermal in for a couple of days to manage pain...which is amazing.  They obviously turn off the numbing medicine, but the pain medicine is good and doesn't really seem to make me tired or loopy feeling.  If this didn't work, then they'd just take the epidural out, and start me on a morphine pump that would have just been hooked up to my IV.

The doctor came in at some point just to check on me....and I was seriously asking the silliest (and probably pretty annoying questions) about what happened and went wrong and if it was because I had too much scarring??  Crazy talk.  :)  But he did tell me that they did do another 'test' to make sure that I was numb....but that sometimes they don't know you're not really all the way numb until they get in there

I was in too much pain at first to try to nurse, so we attempted skin to skin.  Well- he didn't want to just lay there and sleep...so he just started rooting around and getting a little fussy.  Fortunately, the epidural began working (and the nurse had also given me some toradol IV, as well, so that helped)!  But I was so thankful that the epidural did, in fact, eventually begin to work and I didn't have to be on morphine.

Then I proceeded to ask all of these questions about how Nolan looked...if there was anything wrong.  It was the NNICU nurse in me...and again, I'm sure I was a little annoying.  

Usually- family is available to come back and meet the baby while I'm still 'recovering'...but since it took us longer than normal...we just waited until I got to my actual postpartum room for everyone to come in.

Geoff had been out to the waiting room a few times to give updates to the family while I was in recovery, and he had mentioned that Parker was a little worked up.  Excited about the baby....but mostly worried about me.  As soon as she walked in the room...her eyes locked with mine...and she came straight to the bed, climbed up....and gave me this hug.  I still can't look at it without tearing up.  She had been so excited to meet her brother...yet in this moment...she still had this concern for me.

Meeting Nolan:

my mom and the girls

Grace and Nolan

Payton & Nolan

I remember Parker was so quiet at first.  Just taking it all in, I suppose.  Just looking at him.  I had thought she'd be the first to hold him...but I think she wanted to be the last (of the girls, at least).

Then we got a smile!

Nolan & Grandad

Parker asking me a lot of questions....I think she's asking about my bracelets here.

my dad & Grace

my dad & Parker

 my dad & Payton

me and my girlies

poppa & Nolan

Gran & Nolan

After they met Nolan, my mom took the girls to eat lunch...and then brought them back for one more visit before heading home for the day.  I got these boy dolls (since the girls only have girl dolls) and car seats to give to the girls on the day he was born (I did find some cute boy car seats, but too pricey).  I thought they'd think it was so neat because they'd have a baby boy, too.  Well...I do think they initially liked them....but I have to say- these dolls have maybe been played with a handful of times?  For some reason, my girls just don't play house all that often.  Anyways....

Our family of 5.

I'm so glad to finally get this written out.  I'm sure it would have been written a little differently had I written it exactly when it happened....but I'm sure I remember more now than if I waited 4 years (Like i have with Grace!!  Oh my goodness I have to get hers written!)

As I mentioned before though....his entrance into the world was a little 'dramatic'....but at the end of the day....we had a healthy momma and baby boy.  And that's all a girl could ask for.   And I'd do it all again.

We are so blessed.