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Monday, June 17, 2013

in the quiet

The girls spent this past weekend at my mom and Terry's.  They haven't seen them much lately and they were really looking forward to it.  And I was, too!

I was looking forward to only looking after one kid....getting some things done..  And the quiet.

So in the quiet......I've had lots of time to think.  (Not always a good thing, ha!)  But I do think it's been good.  Lots of reflecting....thinking about things I need to change or make better.

One of my really good friends had a baby this past week.  I am so very excited for her.  And it brought up all of these feelings about time.  And how fast it goes.  And how I should try not to take things for granted.

I saw her little and tiny and new.  And I look at Nolan....(still in the throes of newbornness ourselves)....and I was sad at how fast these past 7 weeks have gone.  Time I can't get back.  And....did I enjoy it enough?

I look at my 5 years old and one 3 years old.  Did I enjoy it enough?

{one day last week when I was taking Nolan's pictures...the girls started posing and wanted me to take theirs}

I don't necessarily have an answer, per se.  But I do think that I've tried.  I've tried to soak up their littleness.....taken lots of pictures....and documented a lot of it on here.

I've tried to show them,  teach them, love them, shape them into little people that will grow into kind and loving big people who have a heart for God.

I see areas where I can improve (lots of them!).  Like with my patience (or lack thereof).  I have been so convicted lately on how quickly I lose my temper when things don't go my way or when they don't obey on the first (OR the fifth) time!!!!!.  And while, obviously, this behavior is not acceptable......neither is mine.  I'm still trying to figure out this parenting thing.  I learn something new each day, I think.

And how I just put way too much on my plate.  I want to do this...I want to do that....and quite frankly- I just do not have the time to do it all.  And with that....I get frustrated.  I want to do it all.  The good thing is......I do see the ridiculousness of it all and I am working on it.  Slowly, but surely.  :)

To enjoy every second?  I'm not sure it's possible.  You know how they say...."enjoy every second because it goes so fast."  But I sure do try to keep it in the back of my mind that these days are so fleeting.  Because they are.  And they will be gone soon.  And that one day....I will miss it all.

But mostly.....I want to embrace this time.  Try to stop worrying about how fast it's going and just be in the moment.  {easier said than done!}


Viv said...

You are an amazing wife and mother. Yes, you do sometimes try to do it all but you are so good! You have a beautiful, loving family! You are just so very special!

Lisa said...

Great post! Love it! Every thing you said is so true for me too.

Courtney said...

The days are endless and the years are fleeting.

It's a crazy paradox. Something that I don't think we'll ever fully grasp this side of heaven.

You're doing an amazing job. You have 3 wonderful kiddos who are just the bee's knees. Hang in there.


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