Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Terrible 4s?

Ok- so it used to be the terrible 2s.

And then it was said, I think....... that 3 was the new 2.  And it was. (at least for us!)

But now.  Now she's 4.  And I guess I thought somehow it would all be different.

And in some ways, I guess it is.  But I guess I am just coming to the realization that there will just always be something.

Lately- Parker has been very defiant and disrespectful.  We will ask her to do something....only for her to boldly say in return, "No."  Like the question or request was an option?  ;)

She asks "why?" at every request.  I have said, "Because I said so!" more than I care to admit.  Because while there is a reason I ask her do something.....it really shouldn't matter, right?

We came home from church tonight.  Late.  It was almost 9pm by the time we walked into the door.  Parker was asleep (as I expected, especially since she was up a few hours last night because she couldn't sleep).  I carefully remove her from her carseat.....her body limp.

But as I carefully place her in her bed....I hear, "Mommy......I'm still hungry."


Uuuuuuhh!


I had told her in the car that she could have a snack when we got home (we normally wouldn't, but after dinner tonight she was telling me she was still hungry so I felt bad and like she probably really was hungry), but I really, really thought she'd be asleep by then and it wouldn't matter.  Well, I guess it did.

So I get Grace out of the car....get them a few pretzel.  While they eat, I changed and washed my face, and took out my contacts.

Ok- snack complete.

Time to brush their teeth.

Parker tells me no...that she doesn't want to.  She just wants to go to bed.

So I tell her ok....you don't have to brush your teeth but just go to bed.  You see- I usually lay with her till she falls asleep (because it only takes her a few minutes to fall asleep usually since she's so tired.....I don't know how this got started, but it did and it's been ok for the most part).  And so tonight- I told her that she could just go straight to bed without brushing her teeth, but that I would not be laying with her.

She whines, throws her fit.

Really?  All you have to do is brush your teeth and you'll get what you want.  We both win.

I calmly remind her of her choices several times while I am brushing Grace's teeth.

So I put her in her bed....she ran out of it 3 times before I could get to the door, and I returned her to her bed each time.  I told her if she opened the door that she would get a spanking.

I was very impressed that while I was putting Grace down- she did stay in her room.  Which meant a lot in the sense that at least she obeyed that!  But....she was yelling and crying...."Mommy- please open the door!"

Anyway....I guess there's not a need to give every single detail.   She continued to cry and yell in her room until just now (for 45 minutes total).   But I wanted to write this all down to vent...to share....to ask....is this normal???

I'm sure it is.  {I hope it is.  Ha!}

We try to choose our battles.  And tonight would have been so easy to just lay with her.  She would have been out in a minute or 2.  I know she was so tired.  But I am hoping {and praying} that this will make an impression on her to do what we ask....and do it the first time!

As I was keeping calm through it all (I don't always, but really feel better about the whole situation when I do).....I kept thinking...."when will this end?", "maybe it will never end because there will always be something that needs to be corrected?", "do I expect her to be perfect?"

And while, no, I don't expect her to be perfect- I do want her to obey.  Be respectful of others.  And I guess it's in these seasons of life where she is acting out and disobeying- testing her limits- that I really step back and examine what it is we're doing.....or not doing....what we should do differently....and if it's just something that will pass with time.

It's been a while since I've written about our trials in parenting and so I wanted to write this while it was fresh on my mind.

And here's to a fresh start tomorrow!  {hopefully not too early though!}  ;)

2 comments:

The Thomas Family said...

Tyler is 6. And as everyone said 2 was worse I think 3, 4, and 5 was the worst. We have learned that with Tyler you have to stick to your words because he needs that. As much as he gets mad I know years from now he will appreciate that. Or I hope so. The stages they go through are not bad just hard to grasp the actions they take in the moment.He is now six and doing some what better. Good luck and hold your head up your doing a great job!

Courtney said...

Hello...My kids are just as crazy as yours! I have a 5 year old son and I think the 3's were the worst for us. We had to go all SuperNanny on him for bed time! Right now he is so whiney about everything. And nothing is fair, and he always wants something he doesnt' have. It drives me insane. I just want him to be greatful instead of always whining about things. uughh!

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